Chilling at a Cafe...

Ever just sit with your kid at a cafe? I am soaking it up as I sit here doing my thing while he does his. Ever so often we interact (of course I initiate) and it feels terrific...like..we are in peace. Peace is a hard emotional commodity to come by. It takes work and it takes intention. Like art, it is part inspiration, part action. I made a peace action by buying tickets to one my DS's favorite books turned plays: Ms. Nelson is Missing! I downloaded the activity booklet and used it to go over pre-play questions. I got excited! Now, its I that can't wait for the show to start! O.k...to be a parent, I think its a requirement that to find true peace, one realize that they are to be O.K. with being a kid again.:) Thanks for reading.

Start an antibullying program - Never too early to start | GreatSchools

Start an antibullying program - Never too early to start | GreatSchools

New Year's Words of Advice

Sleep Healthy,
Eat Healthy,
Speak Healthy,
Pray Healthy,
Love Healthy,
Buy Healthy,
Give Healthy

The Greatest Gift

This is the start of a love-borne journaling project to document my life as a parent living with a child who has misunderstood and undiagnosed behaviors. These behaviors have their origins in decisions I made as a woman and a parent over 10 years ago and culminated in trauma and loss. This also tracks how reactions (or sometimes lack of) have a huge impact on our children and ultimately the life path we choose and our internal healing.

December 2010 - My DS (dear son) told me last night that Crowley (not his real name) was one of his best friends along with Isaac (also not his real name) but Isaac was always going to be his best-est friend forever. Due to moves and distance, they can no longer see each other to play, talk or laught, my DS still treasures their friendeships fostered in Kindergarten. He said he misses his time in Kindergarten especially nap time which I find so curious. I vividly recall how I was so embarrassed because he would not nap. His teachers often commented how it was hard for the other kids because my DS would not nap and would disturb other kids who would try to sleep. IF you ask my DS now, he just recalls fondly how he wasn’t tired and too absorbed in what was around him. In his words, he was too curious. Even so, he loved nap time because it was calming and relaxing. He clearly could remember that time. He didn’t remember so well, his time at Sugar Creek School where he spent K4. He says he doesn’t even remember what the room looked like. It wasn’t an overall great experience as a parent so I am not surprised that he doesn’t remember. Isn’t that so like a human’s brain defence mechanism to create a memory barrier to those parts of our lives that are painful and made us feel bad? I guess that is why for the majority of my life, I lived for the moment and did not recall the past. Only deep down, did I know that something was missing; something about not remembering was somehow more hurtful than having the memories. I guess what my DS said made it clear to me that not all his memories are bad and he may very well come out OK when remembering his childhood years ages 4-8 in spite of the trauma.

Poesia - Mi Terra "Where did the Tears go?"

Where did the Tears go?

Tears stand for showers, stand for rain,
Where did it come from? Was it man?
Or did a deity filled with sorrow melt the land?
I heard in the olden days there were mountains tall as giants
Giant ice caps filled the sky and whittled their way down to us little cretins.
We were wasteful and now there are no more tears,
In the land of plenty, we have spent what we had,
Our deities no longer weep, and the land is but sand.

-MilaLef

Aliveness!

This Monday morning, I felt a range of emotions that are hard to describe yet I allowed myself to feel them. Pre-November 5, 2010, I would have labeled these feelings as "bad" and suppressed them. This time, however, with a little help from new-found friends, I learned and practiced having the emotions 'flow' through me, and understood that I am response-able and let them flow through me then released. No judgements...no excuses...no reprimands...simply be and let through. As a good friend, Patricia, stated, "it will be over in about 90 seconds". Wow! I would not have believed it if I had not had the experience first hand. Given that I was alone when this happened, for as scary as it was, I felt a peace I would never have thought possible.

So what brought me to this point? I can honestly point to the safety and security of a group of Angels who I was meant to meet and intersect with...who at this juncture in my life, my soul and intuition directed me towards. I want to thank the Starfish Foundation, Patricia Clayson, Jay Edgar and all the amazing people who shared their time, their love, their courage, and tender gifts with me and each other this past weekend. May others know the good you are doing to promote peace within and 'oneness' with others. Gracias!! God's blessings and abundance always!

Intend new things

Risking is so hard to do when you are not used to it. Much more however, when you have risked as a younger person, and have not done so recently. This a.m. I made my intentions known to the universe and I risked sounding bold, brash -- dare I? -- positively optimistic! I intend that I will not have worries over my financial situation, I intend wealth and abundance, I intend peace, safety and tranquility, joy and love in my life; I intend my son to grow secure and healthy in love surrounded by those who love him including great friends, great role models, great fathers; a great mother; great relatives, great siblings, great pets,and a great base foundation. I intend health and love for me and my mother, father and siblings. I intend to find the task and service that God destined for me to provide to this world and use the very best of my gifts and talents. It's easy to get discouraged, harder still to overcome that feeling. May the Good Intentioned Life begin!!